The Singular Catholic

The Singular Catholic is a ministry of Holy Family of Nazareth Catholic Church, Irving, Texas.  It offers single Catholics an opportunity to help and encourage each other in our calling to the single vocation.  As Singular Catholics, we live out our vocation through the sacraments of Baptism, the Eucharist, and Confirmation through which we follow Christ with a singleness of heart, living each day present to Christ’s love. This ministry is directed but not limited to  those who have never been married, those who are divorced, those who are separated, and those who are widowed.

So, what does it mean to be on the spiritual journey as a singular Catholic?  The journey is to learn to love God with heart, mind and soul, to develop a deep love for others, and to learn to how to receive God’s love on His terms and not on our own.

First, let’s address why the word “single” is not being used in our title.  There are secular connotations embedded in the terms “single person” or “single Catholic,” or even “single ministry” that can confuse our understanding of what the calling to the single vocation is and should be.  The stereotypes of the “single” person promoted by our society can be a stumbling block to the realization of who one is in Christ while living the single vocation.

The word, singular, was chosen because it describes both the state and the challenges of the single Catholic who is living out his or her faith in community.  There are three distinct definitions for the word singular, and each definition can be used to define and explore a particular aspect of the single vocation.  These definitions serve to open our discussion of the calling to a single vocation:

• The first definition is the most obvious: denoting one person or thing.   The truth that all single Catholics must embrace in order to progress in this vocation of being formed in the love of Christ is that those who are not married or in religious life are never alone and never without family and community.  The only way in which those not married are one, or single, is that they are not in a marital relationship.  An unhealthy emphasis on a person not being married, that often being the primary consideration by which is a person is defined, can overshadow the benefits of the many wonderful and fulfilling relationships that a person can enjoy within an extended family and with friends.  As we each grow spiritually in Christ, we must also grow in our relationships as a brothers and sisters in Christ.   Learning to live out this love of others is a calling for all no matter one’s state of life,  but sometimes learning to love and to be loved can take on a particular challenge for those who might feel that love has passed them by.   This is one of the challenges that this site will address in future posts.
• The second definition is being out of the ordinary, unusual , odd.  As a single person in the church community, it often can seem that the vast majority of parish ministry and activities are geared for couples and families.  And, indeed they are. It must be acknowledged that these are important ministries for building up families and the church. However, the feeling of being not included, being overlooked, or what’s worse, being just plain invisible is a common experience of single adults in the church.  Let’s be honest, sometimes its difficult to show up for Mass or church on Sunday when one expects to be conspicuously sitting alone once again.  Or, think of the single church members who escape the parking lot as soon as the Mass is over (or perhaps as soon as communion is over) because they don’t want to be caught as a single in the familiness of the activities after church.  Or think of the single parent who is torn between participating in church activities for the sake of his or her child, while at the same time preferring not to be “singled out” for not having a spouse, or at least a spouse who is present.  It happens.  We don’t talk about it, but there is a real pattern of single flight.  As singular Catholics, how would God ask us to respond to these feelings of isolation and of fear of being conspicuously alone?  Through the call to the single vocation, God is challenging us to grow and thrive out of the abundance of His love and part of this calling is to do this in the communities where He has placed us. As a result of learning to live each day present to Christ and receiving His divine love, we can then extend this love to others.  When we can begin to embrace this “singular” calling, we begin to not feel so tainted by singleness when in community with couples and nuclear families.

• The third definition for singular is distinguished, exceptional. The Singular Catholic is not singular because of a desire to be more spiritual than others, but rather it recognizes that the calling that God has given each of us, single or married, lay or religious, is distinctive and exceptional.  We want to respond well to our calling.  Of course we do not want to fall into a pattern of thinking too highly of ourselves, yet at the same time there is no special barrier that specifically prevents a single, lay Catholic from marked spiritual growth and development.  Sometimes a single person in the church can feel stuck in a holding pattern as if life is passing by because he or she may not be sharing in the experiences that often define adult life, such as marriage and children.  However, all Christians, including those who are not married, are called to make the commitment to love and to be responsible for the welfare of others, the true marks of maturity.  Like all of God’s children, we as singular Catholics strive to participate with God’s grace to fully become the people God created us to be.